Parents Online Safety Guide

Parents have the primary responsibility for keeping their children safe. As part of keeping their children from harm, today's parents need to be aware of their children's computer behavior. Monitoring children's computer activities is the best, first way for parents to keep children safe from the dangers of the Internet. Once parents know what their children are doing on the computer, especially the web sites they're visiting and the people they're meeting in chat rooms, they can initiate dialogue with their children about their expectations and what constitutes responsible use of the Internet.

Since anything goes when it comes to the Internet, parents need to watch over their kids' activities. Consider how easy it is for kids to get in over their heads when using the Internet. For example, before an 8-year old knows it, he or she may find themselves face to face with hard-core pornography, graphic violence, or hateful slurs. Even the best kids may find themselves in a chat room where someone wants to meet them in person. These potentially scary or dangerous situations mandate that parents watch over what their children are doing, intervene when appropriate, and protect them from harm. That's where PC-Parent comes in. It allows parents to monitor everything their children are doing with the computer.

KillerSoftware LLC., makers of computer security and privacy software, have developed PC-Parent, an online safety software program, to provide parents with a bird's-eye view of what their children are doing and where they are going on the Internet.

Step I: Tips for Introducing PC-Parent to Your Children:

Here are four tips for parents to follow when introducing PC-Parent to your children:

1) Be up front. It's always a good idea to be up front with your kids about what you are doing and why. When introducing online safety to your children, you should let your children know that you're concerned about their cyber safety and have installed a software program to help you keep them safe.

2) Present your cyber safety program as a team effort. PC-Parent works best in a team atmosphere; let your children know what you're doing, why you're doing it, and how it will keep them safe. Encourage them to join you in this effort to "keep the bad guys out" of your computer.

3) Alert your children that to help protect their safety online, you have installed PC-Parent. Let them know that even though you trust them, it's just too easy for anyone to end up where they don't want to be on the Internet. For example, given all the different sites and innocent sounding web names, one can easily stumble into a child pornography site or a hate site without meaning to do so. If your child objects, let them know that as a parent you feel it's your responsibility to ensure their safety.

4) Specifically explain what PC-Parent is and how it works. Make sure your child understands that PC-Parent is a computer-monitoring program that tells parents where they are going on the Internet and who is approaching them in chat rooms.

Step II: Keeping the Lines of Communication Open With Your Kids

Tip 1: Acknowledge the positive things your children do. All too often, parents get caught up in the worries and concerns about kids, and just forget to show how much they appreciate them. Break this cycle by catching your child being good and letting them know how much you appreciate their good behavior. Examples of positive feed-back includes saying things like, "I really appreciate it when you... -Pick up your room, -Help your little brother, -Are on time for dinner, -Call and check in when you are running late, -Keep me informed about daily schedule, etc." Find something praiseworthy to say to your child everyday.

Tip 2: Listen patiently, be supportive, and show interest. It's important to make time to be together with your children and enjoy non-structured, non-stressful talk time after school, during dinner, or in the evening. Be sure to give your children a chance to talk about what they want to discuss. Try to do this at least once a day, but don't force your children to talk. In short, welcome conversation. For example, you can start your conversation with a simple question like, "It's good to see you. How was your day?" Try not to interrogate them about their day. Instead, make a point of being available for your child. You might say something along the lines of, "What's up? How are you doing?" etc. You know how to get your child to talk, it may take patience, but I can't overemphasize how important it is.

Tip 3: When your kids come to talk with you, make time for them. Chances are, whatever you are doing can probably wait. If you positively cannot break away from what you're doing, let your child know that you'll be with them shortly, and then follow through on your promise. When you approach them, explain why you couldn't talk and let your child know you hope the offer still stands. For example you might say something like, "I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you awhile ago. I was working on a deadline that I couldn't miss, and I appreciate that you can understand that I had to finish what I was doing."

Tip 4: Don't underestimate the power of just hanging out with your kids. Often, parents only think to talk with kids about important, serious topics. But just hanging out with your child, talking, laughing, musing over everyday stuff, these daily interactions are the nuts and bolts of communication. If you have established an open, non-critical environment, you will find your child/teen more receptive and more willing to listen to your concerns when it is necessary to talk about something serious or problematic. They also will be more likely to accept any limits you need to set.

Tip 5: Assess your own values and be clear about them as a parent before discussing online safety with your kids or teens. Parents have to think about and come to terms with what is acceptable for their kids to access and what is off limits. In general, you need to determine areas that concern you, based on your own value systems and the age of the child. For older kids and teens, you can be frank about the areas you think are inappropriate. For younger children, you don't need to go into much detail because they won't understand it.

Tip 6: Get online with your children. Take the time to actually sit down and "surf the net" with your kids and teens. In addition to the quality time that you will be spending with your children, this will assist you in finding out how and what your child is doing when they are on the Internet. If your child talks in chat rooms, you can suggest that you visit one of their favorite sites and notice how and who they interact with. It will also give you the best assessment of your child's understanding of cyber safety. You will be able to observe and have a direct hand in ensuring the implementation of your cyber safety strategies and rules. For many parents, this will also be a good opportunity for a lesson in how to navigate the Internet. Remember that in most cases, your children know more about computers and the Internet than you do.

Step III:  Set Up Ironclad Rules For Your Children and Teenagers

Post these rules in plain sight next to the computer for your children to review as needed.

Rule 1: Choose a code name instead of using your real name. Come up with "cool" computer names that can be used as your identification on the Internet. Understand that using a made up name protects everyone's privacy and makes it difficult for criminals to steal valuable information.

Rule 2: Never give out personal information. The majority of web sites that you will visit will have contests, surveys, etc. These questionnaires that the sites want you to fill out, requests information such as your name, address, school, phone numbers, etc. NEVER fill out a profile so that someone can actually find out where you live or go to school. Protect your privacy!

Rule 3: If you accidentally reveal contact information, log-off and let your parents know. Together, you can figure out how to correct the situation.

Rule 4: If you feel uncomfortable or intimidated, log-off and let your parents know. If someone pushes you for contact information or says something that scares or upsets you, log-off and let your parents know. Together, you and your parents can "vote the site or chat room off the island."

Rule 5: Never agree to meet anyone you have encountered on the Internet. No matter how nice someone seems or how sorry you feel for him or her, don't promise to meet him or her in person. Log-off and let your parents know about these types of potentially dangerous situations immediately!

Post these rules in plain sight next to the computer for your children to review as needed.

Family Friendly Sites

There are dozens of family-friendly and informative web sites that offer advice parents can use to make their family's Internet experiences safe. These sites discuss terminology and chat groups, and review software and various Internet services in which parents would be interested.

www.safesurf.com
www.safekids.com
www.safeteens.com
www.child-safe.com
www.familyinternet.com
www.safeplace.net
www.familygo.com
www.childpsych.com
www.eff.org
www.protectyourfamily.net
www.familyfriendlysearch.com
www.virtuocity.com

Cyber Safety Organizations

Cyberangels (www.cyberangels.org) Cyberangels is the largest online safety and educational program in cyberspace. The organization was awarded the President's Service Award in October 1998. This group offers online training classes on general Internet knowledge, online security, safety and privacy and sponsors a safety and privacy library. This web site serves as a resource on Internet law and as a watchdog group on child pornography, and abuse. Cyberangels also locates and identifies Internet fraud, scams, and more.

GetNetWise (www.getnetwise.org) GetNetWise is a public service brought to the web by Internet industry corporations (AOL, AT&T, MCI, etc.) and public interest organizations, with the goal of ensuring that families have safe, constructive and educational online experiences. This coalition wants users to be "one click away" from access to the resources they need to make informed decisions about their family's Internet use. GetNetWise is a project of the Internet Education Foundation.

National Education Association (www.nea.org) The NEA and the national PTA are developing recommended rules for parents and children, regarding Internet use - much like schools are developing "acceptable use" policies for computers accessed by the public. PC-Parent has a built in function to display these acceptable use policies.

About PC-Parent

PC-Parent is a top-rated Internet usage monitoring software program that monitors what users do on a computer system.   A "snapshot" of what an Internet user is viewing is taken and stored as a graphic file. Screen shots can be taken at predetermined intervals for later viewing.